Three Single Women on How They Handle Their Finances

When I was first getting my financial act together I read a lot of articles about money management. All of the articles from the biggest websites and media companies said basically the same thing: stop spending so much, invest in the stock market, and pay off debt. They were generally pretty vague and assumed a base level of income that I wasn’t at. So, they were helpful only up until a point.

At the same time, I was reading a lot of personal finance blogs. Blog tended to have more details and a personal bent. The stories are more ‘here’s how we paid off our mortgage’, and ‘here’s what we invest our money in.’ While these were way more helpful than the other articles I was reading, something else caught my eye- most personal finance bloggers were in a relationship and sharing money.

There are very few single female personal finance bloggers. It can be weirdly difficult to find advice on handling money as a single woman.

I’ve been in a heteronormative relationship since 2014, but we don’t share money. I’m financially single, and it’s had a huge impact on my finances. Since not everyone is in a relationship, let alone a straight relationship, I wanted to talk to some women who are single and thus handling their finances entirely by themselves.

Being single means totally different things for your money than when you’re in a relationship. There’s no one there to pick up the slack, and there’s no one else to call the credit card company when there’s a mistake. You don’t have to share info or money with anyone, and you never have to compromise with someone on finances.

I believe there are different financial rules for men and women (thanks to the patriarchy), and I believe the same thing goes for single people vs people in a relationship. The circumstances are different, so therefore the actions are different. Handling money as a single woman is a unique situation, and needs unique advice.

I asked two women are who single and have no children, and one single mother to share how they manage their money so we can all bask in their wisdom.

How do you handle your money as a single woman?

The Lady in Black: My system is probably not drastically different from anyone else’s (including the married folks). However, how I think about the various line items may differ. As a divorced, single mom, I don’t have the luxury of a safety net. No one’s there to help out. I am solely responsible for the well-being of myself and my child. While this is empowering, it’s also terrifying. I learned the hard way that the only way to manage my money properly was to make it work for me. And for now, my priority is saving for anything and everything. HSA, emergency funds, vacation savings, camp tuition, school shopping, life insurance, etc.

C (aka The Single Dollar): I am extra-attentive to maintaining my large network of friends, because I need them! So I allocate more of my money to them — mostly in the form of paying to travel to see them, but a little bit in terms of small gifts — than I might otherwise.

I would also say that my income tends to get allocated differently than that of many couples I know. I live more cheaply (shared housing, old car) than I need to in part because it’s important to me to be in a really solid position financially, because there’s no second income in the family. Oh, and I also had to think about who to designate as the beneficiaries for all of my retirement accounts and so forth. That required a lot of thought about who and what was important to me, not just checking the husband box!

What is your biggest financial concern as a single income household? What about handling money as a single woman stresses you out? 

The Lady In Black: My biggest concern as a single income household is the possibility of loss of income. My little money machine works well right now only due to my healthy amount of income. While I’m trying hard to squirrel away lots of cash, if I lost my job I’d be screwed.

C: I have two: one is job loss (no second income) and the other is housing. I am ok with shared housing, luckily, but even so, I don’t share bedrooms — that’s a cheaper way to live. I worry about the ever-increasing cost of housing a lot.

How have you increased your income?

C: I don’t have any magic tricks here, alas. I try to stay attentive for work on the side, and do sometimes pick up a freelance project, but my full-time job is exhausting and I have a lot of hobbies/other things that are important to me, and those occupy most of my spare time. (I also work in a field that is extremely weird when it comes to salary — ordinary advice about increasing income doesn’t apply in 90% of cases.)

Any favorite money hacks that you can tell other single ladies about?

The Lady in Black: Well, for those ladies out there who are dating, I’ll give you these few tips. First meets are for happy hours. Cheap, bustling and fun. Second dates are for taco nights or something similar. Cheap, more intimate, and fun. And if you make it to the romantic getaway weekend, shop for smaller resorts/areas during “shoulder seasons.” Cheap, more privacy, and fun.

C: The power of sisterhood! I’ve lived with other single women, cooked with them, shared clothing and cars and books and music with them for my entire adult life. You can live larger than your income when you have a wide network of people to share your life with — you don’t have to be in a romantic or legal relationship with those people!

The Lady in Black: As a single lady who’s dating in her late 40’s with a 10-year old child, it’s been hard for me to find my tribe but the PF blogger community is amazing. I’ve learned more about finances in less than a year than my whole life before.

As far as finance apps, I love STASH and do have a brokerage account. Much of my savings is automated through CapitalOne360. I do utilize a financial planner but don’t rely too much on her. And when it comes to budgeting and tracking, I kick it old school with MS Excel.

C: I’m a big fan of Mint as a visualization tool, and I like reading others’ blogs, especially people that are more middle-low income and share their budgets — examples help me think through my own issues, even though of course everyone’s situation is different.